I realized something today but before I get into it, there’s some background that you need to understand first.
Ever since the day my kids were born, I’ve been a very, very hands on Dad. I’m with them every single day. I’m there when they go to bed and when they wake up (barring overnight trips to Grandparents). I take them to every single appointment they have and those appointments are many. I take them to and pick them up from school every day. While it’s a great deal of work, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
One of the other things I’ve done every single year was take my kids trick or treating. There were years where the weather interfered or we were sick but outside of those circumstances, I was escorting my kids through my old neighborhood, so they could collect candy and show off their costumes.
When their mom left the first time back in 2014, I learned what it was like to split holidays and share the time with my kids. It never felt right but I made it work. They still lived with me but I tried to make sure they had as much time with their mom as possible.
During that time, we were both able to take the kids trick or treating. The timing of trick or treat was such that the kids were able to do both. Different locations had different times. So we made it work.
When she left again this summer, my plan was to make life as consistent for the kids as possible. As halloween approached, I had figured trick or treating would work out as it had in the past.
The plan was for them to go trick or treating today and then spend the night with their mom and grandparents. They would come home tomorrow and I would take them as per the norm. Unfortunately, I learned that for the first time, trick or treat times in both locations were the same. I don’t think that’s ever happened before and as a result, we had a problem.
My instinct at first was a bit selfish to be honest. I looked at this as she chose to leave and the kids and I still have to live our lives. Even if she hadn’t left, she probably wouldn’t have gone with us anyway, so her loss.
While I have every right to feel that way, I’m trying very hard not let my personal pain influence my actions and end up being an asshole as a result.
As for this year, basically the kids were still going to spend the night with their mom but be home in time for trick or treating with me. I’ve been looking forward to this because we’ve been planning their costumes for months.