My f*cking head is going to explode



It’s been a frustrating day for me. I had some unexpected issues arise that needed to be dealt with immediately and that thrust a heaping helping of additional stress on to me. I definitely didn’t need that right now.

On the positive side, the boys got to school and I went walking.

I was able to pull off my interview this afternoon as well but I wasn’t in the best mindset to do that today. I’m hoping it will turn out okay.

Mr. Gavin is overwhelming me with his constant chatter. He has this compulsive need to narrate his life. It can be a lot to deal with on a good day and this is definitely not a good day.. He’s constantly talking and I’m at a point where I want to jam pencils in my ears, just to make the sound go away. I’ve been trying to help him understand what I need to know VS what I don’t need to know.

I don’t need to know that he’s thinking about having a corn dog for lunch or that his ankle hurt for a few minutes. I don’t need to know what the battery percentage is on his phone or how many songs are on his playlist. It’s constant and it slowly but surely erodes my sanity away. That’s not a good thing cause there are plenty of days where there’s not much sanity left to begin with.

I’m incredibly overwhelmed right now and the kids have the rest of the week off from school.

Christmas is quickly approaching and I’m worried about how we’re going to manage with the major changes this year. I know it’s going to be hard on me but I’m unsure how the kids are going to do. If I’m the only one struggling, I can suck it up and not be a downer for the holidays. If they are going to struggle, I’m not sure how I’m going to handle it.

Hopefully, I’m getting ahead of myself and everything will go well.

I’m so fucking stressed out right now, my eyes are twitching and that’s giving me a tension headache. Normally I would tag out before I reached this point but I no longer have that option. I’m going to try and close my eyes before I take the kids to therapy tonight.

I feel like my fucking head is going to explode.

3 comments

    • IM on November 27, 2019 at 1:02 pm
    • Reply

    I’m sorry things have been so stressful with Gavin recently. I found this blog because I was researching Childhood Disintegrative Disorder. I’m just wondering – does Gavin still carry that diagnosis?

    1. IM, yes he does. That dx doesn’t go away. Is there some way I can help you?

    • CJ on November 26, 2019 at 6:21 pm
    • Reply

    Hopefully you’ll be able to find some supports for Gavin outside the home that provides him the opportunity of making social connections as well as enhancing his daily living skills and independence. Is there not somewhere that assists families with obtaining these services as well as the necessary funding?

Join The Conversation

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Don't Forget To Check Out My Podcast

You Won't Regret It ;-)

%d bloggers like this: