If only I didn’t need to sleep

It was a rough night. A couple days ago, I pinched a nerve under my right shoulder blade. It’s making finding a comfortable position to sleep in, next to impossible. It hurts to breath and cough and even move my head. Not sure what I did but it sucks.

I had the mattress cranked up to 118°F and layed flat on my back. I was hoping the heat would help and it sorta did.

Unfortunately, Emmett woke up with a nightmare, just about the time I finally fell asleep. He was so shook by whatever he’d experienced that he glued himself to me. The poor kid was shaking uncontrollably and that was the end of me sleeping.

I’m exhausted and in pain but otherwise in a good mood. Last night I managed to make it through most of the SSI paperwork that I’d been so overwhelmed by.

Emmett is up and moving around but complaining about feeling miserable. Today is day two of his antibiotics and I’m hoping as the day moves on, he feels better. I was lucky enough to get all of last weeks sick days covered by a doctors note, meaning they won’t count against him.



There isn’t much on the agenda today. I’m going to try and sneak a nap and just work around the house. I’d like to get some writing done and spend some quality time with the kids. I feel like that’s reasonable and I’m good with that.

2 comments



    • BJW on December 15, 2019 at 11:00 am
    • Reply

    Dealing with government bureaucracies is a special aggravation. I had to slog through paperwork to get health insurance for me and Henry, and I didn’t enjoy it one bit.

    Is there any way Emmett could learn to come into your room and maybe sleep on a cot? Or something that keeps him closer to you but doesn’t dramatically impair your sleep? Maybe now is not the time, but if you have things already messing with your sleep, Emmett is old enough to understand.

    1. I have a king sized bed so there’s plenty of room. The problem is that he needs to be in physical contact in order to feel safe. There are abandonment and trust issues, anxiety, and frankly, just his personality.

      He’s sick still and I’m hoping as he feels better, things will improve. I need some space and he needs to be all up in my space right now because he’s afraid I’m going to leave him too.

      There are a lot of pieces and parts to this but you’re right, I have to be able to sleep. I need to figure something out.

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