A long overdue update and a request for thoughts and prayers


This trip to Florida we’ve been invited to take, is not going to be easy to pull off. Aside from it being a really good cause and finally being able to give back to Give Kids The World, we need the break.

We’ve only ever taken 1 vacation in almost 20 years. The kids had lots of great memories but now they’re tainted. They asked me to remove all the pictures from Gavin’s wish trip to Florida because seeing us together as a family is too hard. I obviously didn’t get rid of them but I did pull them from display. Someday they’ll may feel differently.

They want to be able to make new memories and I’m doing everything in my power to make that happen. It’s exciting but it also weighs heavy as well.

It’s really hard to manage all this and I really need to catch a break.

I’m finishing off the last 2 episodes of season 2 of the podcast and will probably take a couple weeks off before digging into season 3. I need to make some changes and get ahold of some additional equiptment. I’m currently working with Emmett to design new cover art for the pod and I’ll hopefully have that done sooner than later. He really wants to be involved in the podcast and I’m trying to find ways in which I can do that. Right now, he’s helping me test the audio. When I think have a mixdown ready, he will listen to it through headphones and take note of anything I missed. He ses to enjoy this and I really like that it’s something we can do together.

As for me, I struggling both physically and emotionally. Depression is definitely a major problem for me but I’m still fighting. My weight loss has stopped and I’m not making any new progress. That said, I’m not gaining what I lost back, so at least there’s that.

The reality is that the 4 of us have a great deal going for us. Work has been pretty good and I just need to keep focusing on that but it’s proving difficult with everything going on around me. All things considered, I’m doing a good job, or so I’m told. The biggest critic of myself is me and while I judge myself harshly, those in my life had a better perspective. I’m just going to take the compliment and keep doing my best.

We have several appointments in the morning but they need to happen. The only thing that may interfere is winter weather. It may end up being a snow day and that will create problems.

For now, I promised myself that I would go to bed as soon as Emmett fell asleep and that’s what I’m going to do.

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