I need more patience and I don’t know where to find it

I need more patience and I don’t know where to find it

Last night was really bad. Gavin had a massive blowout about 12:30 am. What happened matters less than what triggered it.

Ever since Gavin was little, he has not been able to tolerate making mistakes. There are times when he makes a mistake and can brush it but majority of the time, mistakes lead to self-injurious meltdowns.

Truthfully, I don’t really know what to call these episodes. I don’t know that they qualify as actual meltdowns and I’d prefer not to mislable them because it sends the wrong message.

It might be more accurate to say that Gavin loses his temper. I think that’s a fair way to describe what happens. Everyone loses their temper from time to time and that’s not a problem in and of itself. The issue is more that Gavin will not allow himself to be human and make mistakes. He’s way too hard on himself.

I bet we could avoid 95% of these outbursts if he would allow himself to make mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes and personally, I’m the King of Mistakes but we have to accept that we’re not perfect, learn from them and move forward. In Gavin’s case, there’s some type of roadblock in his way.

By the time I lose patience with him, it has nothing to do with the mistake he made but rather his reaction to making it.

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Oh Rob, patience is in extra short supply right now. I find myself extra irritable or emotional due to this damn pandemic. Even on better days it’s hard. Maybe with sunnier weather you all can get out enough to stretch your legs (and mind). Hope you all feel better soon.

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