Read more about the article I gave myself 1 week to grieve
My thoughts

I gave myself 1 week to grieve

As you know by now, I finalized my divorce about a week ago. If you been following for any length of time, you know that this was an emotionally complicated experience for me. This wasn't something I wanted and I didn't understand what happened. Fast forward a year and a half, and I've accepted that my marriage was ending. I'm not happy about it but I do understand it's for the best. As I've said before, the person I married doesn't exist anymore. It's not meant to be an insult to her either. People change and she totally acknowledges that. One of the complicated things for me is coming to grips with this. It's been challenging for me at times and dealing with depression doesn't help. My whole point is…

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February 15, 2021
Read more about the article I want to talk to you about my #depression
Confessions / Depression Management / Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

I want to talk to you about my #depression

It has occurred to me that I haven't talked about my depression much lately. I talk about to people who reach out offline quite a bit and I sometimes forget to do that here as well. One of the reasons this occurred to me is because I noticed today that I'm struggling a little more than I have been in regards to managing my depression. I think everyone deals with life differently and depression hits people in different ways as well. We're all different and that's okay. For me personally, I know depression is once again gaining a foothold in my life when I begin worrying about dying. It's not easy for me to admit that because there's only a few people in my life that are aware of this…

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December 9, 2020
Read more about the article A long overdue, deeply personal update
Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

A long overdue, deeply personal update

It's been a little while since I've really talked about how I'm doing on a personal level. There's not really a reason for that I'm just a bit overwhelmed and when this happens, it's not as easy for me to write. That said, it's important that I do anyway because it's incredibly therapeutic for me to do so. For the most part, I think I'm doing pretty well. Could I be doing better? Of course I could. Could I be doing worse? You betcha.. I'm trying to manage a lot right now and it's not easy. The balance between work and family is quite challenging, especially when the kids are learning from home. I need to be working but they need guidance and support because remote learning is a very…

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October 9, 2020
Read more about the article It’s been a heartbreaking day
COVID19 / Link / Lockdown / My thoughts

It’s been a heartbreaking day

Remote learning is like a fucking emotional roller-coaster for everyone involved, but especially for our kiddos on the autism spectrum. We have had our ups and downs but today was a particularly challenging. I stopped working today, which is hugely problematic, in order to help Emmett navigate his schoolwork. For some reason, he was completely overwhelmed by the tasks on the screen before him. There's a million reasons he's overwhelmed but I don't know what pushed him over the edge today. How many of you out there have seen similar with your own kids lately? It's currently 3pm and I've been trying to help him work through his anxiety, frustration and whatever else he's feeling that I can't see on the surface, all day now. Remote learning is a necessary…

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October 6, 2020
Read more about the article Therapy is helping me become better
Inspirational Posts / My thoughts

Therapy is helping me become better

I had therapy yesterday and I feel like I'm making progress. I'm the picture of imperfection and I'm the first to admit that but the last to forgive myself for it. This last year has been incredibly challenging for me and that came after the hardest six months of my life. Losing my last two grandparents was so hard and I hadn't yet found my footing when my marriage imploded for a second time. That began a journey I didn't ask to go one but it was something I had no control over. Ensuring the kids got through all this has been my number one priority and honestly, that came at my own expense. Then COVID hit and our lives were turned upside down once again, just like everyone else.…

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September 17, 2020
Read more about the article I’m so proud of myself for pushing through
My thoughts

I’m so proud of myself for pushing through

I feel fricking amazing because I set out to tackle a project and I saw it through to completion. That's a big deal to me and I'm really proud of myself for pushing through my overwhelming desire to give up. Emmett helped me and I was able to teach him a little at the same time. I mentioned before that I wanted to conceal and manage all the wires, cables and everything else related to my podcasr that could be tucked away neatly. Yes, I realize the cables going into and out of the cloud lifter are incorrectly installed. It's fixed. ☺ The underside of my table now contains all wires and cables for my laptop, mixing board, cloud lifter, microphone, and power supplies. Everything is secured, organized and out…

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September 6, 2020
Read more about the article #Depression doesn’t play fair and neither can I when fighting back
My thoughts

#Depression doesn’t play fair and neither can I when fighting back

Today I'm working on rebuilding my happy place. My happy place is my podcast studio, at least since COVID hit. I've decided that I need to put some intentional focus here because it's a place that helps me find calm and that's good for my mental health. My mental health has taken a few blows since lockdown. My project today is cable management. I know that sounds stupid but I hate, hate, hate seeing cables all over the place. Also, our cats have a thing for chewing on cables and some of these are very expense and some have power running through them. So while it's a nice to organize the chaos, it's also making things safer for the cats. Everything is torn apart at the moment I'm currently waiting…

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September 6, 2020
Read more about the article Today was full of accomplishments
Elliott / Emmett John / My Personal Victory / My thoughts

Today was full of accomplishments

Elliott had his first day back today and it went amazingly well. I say first day back because we moved both Elliott and Emmett back to their old school. They're remote learning instead of distance learning and the experience thus far has been night and day. Emmett is supposed to start Friday, September 4th but we're still waiting on some things to be processed. I'll call in the morning and see what's going on. Maybe he can still get started. The setup is very different than what we've been dealing with these past two weeks. Elliott remotely goes to school four days a week and Emmett will attend remotely, three days a week. The off days are for homework and extra help if needed. Elliott had a great day and…

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September 3, 2020