Do I have less patience now?

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Gavin had therapy tonight and one of the things that I mentioned to the therapist is that I just don’t have patience for Gavin anymore. We discussed that briefly before something occurred to me.

Perhaps this is a philosophical question but it’s something I think Special Needs parents should keep in mind as their kids get older and perhaps more challenging.

First of all, let’s be crystal clear. I’m as far from perfect as any one person can be. I’m human and I have very human limits. That being said, the people who know me in real life, have been saying forever that I have the patience of a Saint, especially when it comes to Gavin.

In all fairness to myself, I did have a seemingly endless supply of patience. Lately however, I just don’t feel like I have the same level of patience for Gavin’s behaviors that I used to have.

This is quite upsetting for me because none of Gavin’s behaviors are his fault. Sure, he makes decisions that create problems but his decision making ability is severely impaired.

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kimmy gebhardt
kimmy gebhardt

It may also be option 3: you have the same amount of patience and Gavin requires the same amount of patience but you have 3 other people in your house who also require it. Lizze is in pain most days and can’t always help out in the way that she wants to and you need her to; Elliott is deep into preteen angst and anxiety and is showing symptoms of being bipolar; Emmett hates shoes and his signature. I don’t say that in a flippant way, but those are just examples of what you’re dealing with from people in your… Read more »


Interesting food for thought. What was the therapists take on this?

Jimmy Rock
Jimmy Rock

Why does anyone “run out of patience”, “lose their patience”, or have their “patience wear thin”? After time, in your case, years and years, patience can and will erode. So sure, over time, your ability to tolerate certain things can lessen. That’s why old people can be so cranky lol. But in all seriousness, have you considered the effect of your weaning yourself off antidepressants has taken? I mean, that’s a huge variable thrown into the mix. And how would you know objectively anyway? It has to be difficult, if not impossible, to be so self-aware to be able to… Read more »