I’ve had to have this heartbreaking conversation too many times already



I feel like I’m beginning to crack under the pressure of everything. The kids are all over the place tonight and I love them to pieces but I wouldn’t hate it if they were a bit quieter and a bit more cooperative.

Gavin is driving me crazy with his incessant talking about the same goddamn thing, over and over again. It doesn’t matter what kind of mood I’m in or how bad of a day I’m having, he just keeps coming at with stuff about his games.

He hasn’t the first clue how annoying it is and he’s not doing it to create trouble, he just can’t help himself. Many times there’s just no escaping the onslaught of verbiage coming out of his mouth.



If he does catch himself trying to talk about his game after he was told to stop, this is the kind of exchange we would have:

Gavin: Hey Dad, guess what I just built….oh yeah, nevermind.

Me: Okay Gavin, thank you.



Gavin: Dad, I was just about to tell you how I upgraded my village and built new defenses in my game but then I remembered that you told me to stop talking about my game, so I did.

Me: Gavin, I appreciate that but in telling me what you remembered not to tell me, you ended up telling me anyway.

Gavin: God dang it. I’m such a freaking idiot.

Me: Stop it. You’re not an idiot and I don’t want to hear you talk about yourself like that. I’m not mad. If I don’t show you what you’re doing wrong, you can’t learn from your mistakes. We all make mistakes and important that we learn from them.

Gavin: I don’t know what’s wrong with my stupid brain. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of my stupid, God-forsaken brain.

Me: Gavin, everyone makes mistakes and making mistakes doesn’t make you stupid, it makes you human. We can just keep practicing.

Gavin: Okay Dad.

I can recite this heartbreaking conversation backward and forward because we’ve had it countless times already. It never changes anything but we have to keep working on things.

It’s unbelievably exhausting.

I’m overwhelmed by all that’s going on. The list of things that I have to do keeps getting longer and longer, while my resources continue to either stay the same or dwindle.

It’s been a rough week and I’m not coping very well. I have my good moments and my bad ones, as evidenced by my punching the refrigerator the other day.

If the only thing I had to do was Autism parenting specific tasks, I’d be in over my head. I wish that was all I had to deal with but unfortunately, that’s not how life works.

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About Rob Gorski

Father to 3 with Autism and husband to my best friend. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)

  

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Lisa Pulling
Guest

Sorry. It is exhausting. Is there respite care? Can you just take a day?

BeckyW
Member
BeckyW

You know what? Telling Gavin to stop talking about whatever his favorite thing at the moment is, doesn’t seem to be working. I know you need to do things that are important and teaching Gavin is one of them. But has he shown that he’s in the slightest bit capable of changing in this area? Would you be better off just ignoring him? Would he even notice? I have no idea, just it seems every time you revisit this subject you mention how much Gavin talks and he never seems able to change. If you looked at him and thought… Read more »

Stacy Thompson
Guest

You’re not alone. And you’re doing a great job!

Elva Diane Green
Guest

I do hope your hand is alright. You are a good father, in my opinion. And I hope the fridge still works. 🙂

Claire Bear
Guest

This blog Rob has sent me into a sobbing fit. Walking both paths of the child and the parent. No ot… https://t.co/tSfzMr9un2

CJ
Member
CJ

Is there any type of adult day program that Gavin could attend that would benefit him to meet people and develop life skills?

Donna
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Donna

Hi Rob I came across a link to your site through https://www.sleephelp.org/autism-asd/ after they had contacted me asking if I can link to threir site on mine I not only wil do that but also to yours. I love your honestty. I am a single mum living in New Zealand. I have three children on the autism spectrum with whom I parent alone and have done so for many years. To state it as a lonely life is an understatement. I have lupus and Ehelrs Danlos syndrome so am unable to work. We live on a benefit, so finanaces are… Read more »