I need to put all the Autism and Special Needs Parenting stuff aside for a little while tonight. I need to instead focus on the very human side of my life. This is the part of my life that isn’t influenced by things like Autism. It’s actually rare to find things in my life that aren’t influenced by all those challenges, but this is a bit different.
Tonight we celebrated my last remaining Grandmother’s, 94th birthday. She’s actually my last remaining Grandparent period.
The nursing home reserved the common room for us, and we had a pizza party and watched the Cleveland Indians play. My Grandma loves the Indians, and we all watched the game with her.
She was having a rough night and wasn’t sure she was up to leaving her bed, but she ultimately decided she wanted to go.
It was pretty clear that she was struggling throughout the party, but she never complained, and when I asked if she wanted me to take her back to her room, she said no. I think she needed to get back in bed, but she also needed to see everyone.
As I was sitting next to her, it occurred to me that there’s a very good chance that this could be the last birthday we get to celebrate with her, and that’s very difficult for me to take.
I struggle with death but perhaps not for the same reasons most people do.