I feel like I’m failing but am I really?


He’s on medication to help limit the flare ups and it was helping a great deal. Sadly, stress seems to exacerbate condition and the last few months have been incredibly stressful. Emmett has a lifelong history of not dealing with stress well. Emmett avoids talking about things that upset him and he does so to his own detriment.

As a somewhat grounded, rational adult, I know that I can’t take away his physical or emotional pain. It’s just not something I can fix. As their father, it breaks me to see both he and Elliott suffering as much as they are. As their father, I feel like I’m failing them on too many levels to count.

The absolute best I can do right now is to ensure they are fed, clothed, supported, and unconditionally loved. Those are all important things but they just don’t feel like enough because they’re still hurting.

If someone were telling me this exact same story about their life, I would tell them they need to let go of the guilt because they are doing everything they can for their kids. I would tell them that they are one single human being and can only do so much. I would encourage them to focus on the things they’re accomplishing, rather than seeing their perceived failures.

I would tell them that because I truly believe it to be the case.

Unfortunately, offering solid advice to others and following my own advice doesn’t translate well. Perhaps that makes me a hypocrite but letting go of those things can be so much easier said than done.

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