I feel helpless and powerless because I can’t help my kids with #Autism

We had a frustrating therapy session tonight. The boys are very frustrated about certain things that I can’t help them with. They will talk to me about what’s bothing them because A) they trust me, and B) because I’m there in the moment when they need to talk. Outside of those moments, they do not want to talk about what’s bothering them and instead internalize it.

This is a very frustrating because the things that are upsetting them, I can’t do anything about. They live in a very black and white world and tend to view things through that lens, especially when those things are emotionally charged.

They feel like once they tell me, their job is done and I can pass it along to the therapist. While that’s true, at least to some extent, their therapist needs to hear from them. I’d rather not be responsible for interrupting their words and relaying them to someone else. I would be faithful to what they said but there’s still room for me to misunderstand and therefore unintentionally misrepresent their message. They need to deliver their own message and we’re working to help them do that.

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    • Cindy on January 23, 2020 at 11:19 am
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    What about having them write about their day (which would include their feelings) in a daily “journal”. Not just things that are upsetting or frustrating them, but also things that are making them happy. Then they could bring their journal to therapy and give Dr. Patti a look at their week.

    1. That’s actually something we’re working on. Elliott prefers to write and Emmett is recording his voice. Great suggestions. Thank you. ☺

  1. I wonder if individual therapy would help.

    1. Hey Becky. ☺

      If you’re referring to Emmett, he is getting individual therapy. He simply doesn’t want to talk about it.

        • BJW on January 22, 2020 at 11:56 am
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        I guess that goes along with the not talking to anyone except you problem. :/

        1. Yeah, it does. I’m grateful they talk to me but I’m frustrated because I’m not the one who can help them. They need to talk in therapy and they resist that at every turn.

            • Audrey Ashkin on January 25, 2020 at 7:13 am
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            Just a thought…..video tape (even just the vocal/audio) Emmet and you talking about something he opened up to you about that you would like him to discuss with his therapist. Have him bring the audio and play it at therapy. He might like hearing your voice during therapy since you are his “go to”. The therapist can work his/her magic based on what was being discussed in audio.

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