I’m absolutely failing at this right now

I think that we had a pretty decent day overall and I’m grateful for that. I managed to get some laundry done and even bribe my kids to clean their room. I’m seriously running low on shits to give and I’m not above bribary in order to maintain my sanity at this point.

Therapy went pretty well today also. I’m still getting used to accessing therapy remotely but I’m so grateful that I have the opportunity to continue getting help during lockdown.

I got some work done this afternoon (paying marketing gigs) and I’m working on a outline for another podcast later this week. I do have a few interviews in the planning stages and I should know more about the timing in the next few days.

One thing that I’m absolutely failing at is selfcare. I’m way off course and I’m struggling to find my way back on the road. True to form for me, I’m not cutting myself any slack and instead, I’m beating myself up, which is counter-productive.

I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in forever and that’s playing a role in my unraveling. I can’t seem to shut my brain off long enough to fall asleep. It’s actually quite frustrating. By the time I fall asleep, it’s time to wake up. This is how I woke up this morning. Ruby was sitting on my chest staring at me. When she wants your attention, she likes to tap her front feet.

I’m sleeping this morning and she’s tapping away on my chest, trying to wake me up. Lol

2 comments

    • Curtis G. on March 27, 2020 at 12:59 am
    • Reply

    I sympathize with you Rob. A good night’s sleep is almost foreign to me, especially at this time. My oldest autistic son is having continous medical problems and losing a lot of weight(not associated with the CONVID19) because of his gastro problems which is causing him to fear eating enough calories to maintain a proper weight and my youngest son is a resident doctor, far from our home, and dealing with coronavirus patients at the hospital he works, which is causing us a great deal of worry. So my mind won’t shut off at night worrying about them both. I hope things settle down for you to at least be able to get some sleep.

      • BJW on March 27, 2020 at 4:22 am
      • Reply

      I’m sorry to hear things are so hard, Curtis. My husband is retired, I’m not working, and our youngest son is chronically ill. So only one of us leaves the house. Jacob actually delivers for Marco’s, who would’ve thought some of the heroes would be pizza delivery people? Jacob has OCD and compulsively washes his hands and is the person at Marco’s that disinfects everything,

      I hope your son can somehow eat again. If he’s not eating enough, is it time to throw nutrition out the window for a time and just get him whatever calories he likes? When I was pregnant both times, I was severely nauseated and consequently, ate whatever gave me any calories. Sometimes breaking the rules in situations like this could help. Does your son like milkshakes? Maybe one of those Boost drinks mixed with ice cream? I could be off base. I have gut problems and sometimes, soft and/or sweet foods help in the short term. Take care and hope the best for you.

      (I’m fat but I’ve lost 50 lbs. I do make smoothies with no sugar, stevia, bananas, frozen str Bleawberries, water, ice, yogurt. You could add ice cream. I almost never eat sugar anymore but I don’t have the problem your poor son has, am NOT underweight.)

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