Trying to safely manage parent visitation during the #COVID19 pandemic

Everyone is excited about this family reunion. I’ve stated very honestly that I have mixed feelings but not because I don’t want them to see their mom. I’ve been laser focused on keeping them safe and healthy for 75 days. Turning over that responsibility to anyone would be unnerving for me. It throws unknown variables into the equation and that makes me nervous. That said, I need to deal with that, and I am.

It’s like tomorrow is Christmas for them and while I’m not in their shoes, I get it. I’m thrilled that they have this opportunity to go.

Today has been spent making sure everyone has clothes packed, medications dosed out for two days and I’ve put a lot of effort into keeping them distracted.

I’ve already made final arrangements and confirmed everyone is fever free and hasn’t broken quarantine. Fever would be an unpredictable killjoy but I don’t expect any surprises with broken quarantine because everyone is taking this very seriously and are very excited to see the boys.

I hate everything about this divorce but it’s outside of my control. What I do have complete control over is how I choose to move forward. I could make this very ugly or I can make this as easy on myself and the kids as possible. Everything is a choice and I can only control mine. I wasn’t prepared for any of this, including the pandemic that has made this so much more difficult. That being said, I’ve made my peace with it.

Divorce or breakups aren’t usually easy, especially when one person doesn’t want it. The reality is that we have a responsibility to our kids and ourselves, to make the best out of a bad situation. By working together whenever possible, the kids can feel more secure and not like they are torn between two warring parties. Lizze and I are both committed to working together and I very much appreciate the fact that she was willing to give up her visits while we’re going through this global pandemic.

No matter what has transpired between us, I will always see her as the person who gave me the greatest gift anyone could ever have given me, my children. She will always command my respect, regardless of her life choices.

I know that people don’t often talk about this stuff but I’m hoping this can be a positive example for others going through similar things. Assuming we aren’t talking about abuse, addiction or something extreme, there is zero reason parents can’t work together. It has to be about the kids and not the grownups. It’s not always easy because there’s a great deal of pain involved but I promise you, working together is the best way to help your kids adapt and thrive after their lives have been turned upside down. They didn’t ask for any of this and it’s our job to still be their parents.

In other words, as grownups, we need to stow our emotional shit and work together for the betterment of the children we brought into this world.

This is not professional advice but I would hope that there’s a certain level of commonsense involved here.

I will have been nonstop with the kids for 75 days straight, without any adult contact when I drop them off in the morning. As much as I need the break, I don’t know what to do with my time. It’s not like I can really do anything much outside the house. I still have to maintain quarantine, as do the kids while they’re gone. I’d love to go walking and I’ll probably try but it will largely depend on the foot traffic at the park when I do. I’ve not had a great deal of luck venturing out to the park lately. So many people not social distancing or wearing masks and there’s almost no way to avoid contact with these people due to the numbers.

The best thing for me is probably just to rest. I need to recharge before I pick the kids up on Friday morning.

I’ll probably order dinner and chill with some Netflix. I have some carpets that need scrubbed and writing that needs done. I’ve also been wanting to start Monk over again and binge the complete series. 🙂

Anyway, I wanted to share how we’re managing parental visitations during the pandemic and talk about the solutions we’ve worked out. I hope this is helpful for someone out there.

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