Confessions: I’m worn out and overwhelmed

Today has me stressing out quite a bit. As lockdown drags on and on, it’s getting harder and harder to make ends meet. This month has been absolutely horrible in that area and I’m really worried about what July is going to look like.

Being a single Dad and full time caregiver to 3 Autistic kids, working from home has been my only option for many years.

My main source of income is derived from this site and more recently, my podcast. Between sponsored posts, ad spots, affiliate and digital marketing, I’ve been able to make ends meet. Things have been a great deal harder since the pandemic hit. There are millions of families struggling right now and mine just happens to be one of them.

Essentially, the bulk of my income generated in the current month, won’t be paid until the following month. For example, what I have to work with this month was earned last month. What I generated this month will be what we have to make ends meet for the following month. It’s sort of a delayed impact that I can see coming weeks in advance, be it good or bad.

Our situation isn’t anymore tragic than any of the countless others out there. I can only speak to my experience, so please don’t take this as me comparing papercuts. My family is far from the only one struggling and as difficult as our situation is, there are always those dealing with far worse.

This is hitting me particularly hard today because it’s Father’s Day and I’m terrified that I won’t be able to figure a way through July. As a father, it’s my job to make sure my kids have what they need. I’m worried I will fail in that responsibility.

I’ve been very lucky to have the resources I do and there isn’t a day that goes by where I’m not aware of that or a moment I take it for granted.

This afternoon has been spent trying to find ways to improve our situation. The big challenge is that I’m one person. Many sites similar to mine have a team of people, each managing a specific task. I’m a one man operation. I know a little about a lot of things but not a lot about the things that matter in this case. Not sure if that sense.

Anyway, there’s still time for things to improve and that will be the focus of this coming week. I have several recordings scheduled and a new ad to record as well. There’s always reason to maintain hope and a positive outlook. I’m trying very hard not to let fear control me but I’m not as strong as I once was. I’m wore out and overwhelmed.

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Diane

Rob your site isn’t loading properly. This is the last post I can see unless I go through twitter! Happens on multiple devices.

V Reinders

Hi Rob. Me being a mother to a severely autistic child can understand exactly what you are going through. Worry, fear, hopelessness and guilt overcomes a person, never mind the fact that you are just.so.tired.
Never give up hope, never stop praying, the breakthrough will come, believe me. When we are at our weakest, we are strong!

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