Life is rough and I’m struggling with #depression



This past weekend has really pissed me off and I’m being smacked in the face by the reality of just how badly I need to get my kids out of this neighborhood.

I spent the day boarding up my shattered attic windows, dealing with insurance about the damage to the car and trying to get all the work I needed to get done, done. I’m so overwhelmed and frustrated.

Depression is once again creeping into my life and it’s kicking my ass right now.

I had therapy today and I’m not sure if that helped or made things worse. There are so many different emotions I’m experiencing. I’m worried about keeping my kids safe in a country that is drowning in COVID19 cases. I’m lonely because I haven’t had any adult contact in over 124 days now. I’m angry about the damage to my property as a result of the assholes in my neighborhood exploding professional fireworks all over my house and car.

I’m overwhelmed because 100% of the responsibility for my kids falls on my shoulders alone. That means if something happens to any of them, it’s on me, and I have to live with that.

I’m exhausted because I’m not sleeping well and frustrated because I’m not currently losing weight. I’m not gaining but I’m not really losing either.

Life is rough and I’m struggling.

Again, I’m trying to share as honestly as possible. I’m receiving a crazy amount of email lately from struggling parents with no idea what to do, and feeling very much alone. I totally get that and if I can share my personal struggles, it helps them to feel better because it shows them they aren’t as alone as they feel.

I’ve got a backlog of parents needing help or just wanting to talk. I’m trying to get to everyone but I’m struggling myself and so I’m not super efficient at the moment.

If you’re waiting on a reply, please be patient. I’m trying very hard to get back to everyone. I’m about a dozen emails behind today alone.

Just so we’re clear, I know I’ll be okay. It may not be tomorrow or the next day but I’m not a quitter and I’ll find the strength to keep moving forward. It doesn’t always feel like that but I’ll make it happen.

Please have a great night. Wear a mask, wash your hands and social distance. Stay safe. Be smart and take care of each other.

8 comments

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    • Michael on July 13, 2020 at 4:38 am
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    Depression goes deep for many of us. Keep on the therapy for yourself. I know my wife sure feels like I need to speak to someone about my frustrations.

    Smile despite it all, do the next right thing. Lean on someone, we’re almost all lonely if we have any sense right now with the virus being about

    Sure helps to break a sweat with some physical activity here and there.

    No playgrounds has been so tough this year. Thankfully swimming in lake Erie is an option for us.

    1. Well said Michael. ☺

  1. Sorry Rob! You keep hanging in there!

  2. Rob

    Hang in there, the moment will pass and better feelings are around the corner. I’ve been there too. I’ve been writing these sorts of thoughts into a journal – and writing more regularly and then contrast those journal entries with days I’m feeling better. This blog is amazing – I have no idea what I’m doing with just one child on the spectrum 🙂

    1. Thank you. How are you holding up in all this craziness?

        • VK on July 10, 2020 at 10:16 pm
        • Reply

        I’m doing alright. My biggest complaint about the craziness is that I’m tried of being cooped up – which isn’t much to complain about when I look at those unemployment numbers!

    • BJW on July 8, 2020 at 12:59 am
    • Reply

    Did you hear DeWine mandated masks for certain Covid-19 hotspots? I didn’t know if yours was one. I got out tonight and took a bike ride. Not too many people out in the heat, although since it was 7 pm the sun wasn’t too bright.

    I function better if I’m not super mad over the bad federal response. At this point, I will crawl over broken glass to vote for Biden. Trump is trying to ignore the pandemic which makes it worse. And my county has a really low infection rate…for now.

    Hope you can catch some sleep tonight.

    1. I hadn’t the details of it. Stark County is one of the highest. What’s crazy is not mandating this across the board. County lines don’t stop the virus.

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