I’m so fucking stressed out today and I’m not sure why. We didn’t get off to a good start this morning but there are plenty of mornings like that and I don’t feel like this. I’m completely frazzled and don’t even want anyone talking to me.
It feels like everyone around me is going in slow motion and I’m in a big hurry.
This is all on me but I don’t know what triggered this. I’ve only had a few actually anxiety attacks in my life and perhaps this is one of those. Absolutely everything feels insurmountable and there’s this overwhelming sense of impending doom or that I forgot something extremely important.
I feel like I’m going crazy and my body is shaky.
The reality is that I’m depressed, exhausted, overwhelmed and incredibly anxious. I’m under a ton of pressure and Gavin won’t stop talking to me about his tablet games. I’m not angry or upset with him because it’s not his fault and he just wants me to be proud of him, which I am anyway. I tell him all the time but there’s just something about these games that he a shitload of positive reinforcement.
At this point, it’s like nails on a chalk board but I’m trying to be patient anyway.
I have isolated myself in my room and I’m trying to center myself because I have to leave for Cleveland in about an hour or so. I just want to find my happy place and regroup. I think everything has just gotten to me today and I’m unable to cope right now.