While all that was important to me, the most important, however, was being able to look my kids in the eyes, knowing that I was no longer a hypocrite.
Fast forward to yesterday, December 6, 2018 and I finally returned to the dentist.
I went alone because I felt I needed to do this on my own in order to truly own the experience. I didn’t take any medication, even though it was available because I felt that if I was altered in any way, I wouldn’t truly experience the visit and I desperately needed to overcome this paralyzing fear.
I’ve been asked what I was afraid of and honestly, I couldn’t single anything out. I’m not afraid of pain or anything like that. I think it was simply fear of being in the chair, like I was when I was at the oral surgeon all those years ago. I was definitely nervous that after 25 years, I was going to have major problems. That was definitely a worry.
Anyway, my first appointment went really, really well. I was really scared but it went well.
The dentist and hygienist couldn’t believe it’d been that long between appointments.
I have two tiny cavities and honestly, the last time I was at the dentist, I remember them saying there were two small cavities they wanted to keep an eye on.
That was it.
There were issues I knew about like wisdom teeth. Although I didn’t realize I had 3. I knew I had one that recently showed up and is impacted but painless. Those will have to come out but I don’t that that’s a huge deal.
I was then scheduled for a minor cleaning for the following day and as I’m writing this, that cleaning has come and gone.
There was some minor cleanup on my bottom front teeth but that was it.
They said I was in really, really good shape. In the area where I had the tooth reimplanted (bottom front teeth), there is minor gum recession on the back side and very minor bone loss.
That sorta freaks me out but that area had been through a great deal and they explained that as long as I keep doing what I’m doing and come back every 6 months, there’s nothing to worry about. Of course, I’m worried anyway because that’s what I do. Everything feels different and that’s good but it also sorta freaks me out.