While all that was important to me, the most important, however, was being able to look my kids in the eyes, knowing that I was no longer a hypocrite.
Fast forward to yesterday, December 6, 2018 and I finally returned to the dentist.
I went alone because I felt I needed to do this on my own in order to truly own the experience. I didn’t take any medication, even though it was available because I felt that if I was altered in any way, I wouldn’t truly experience the visit and I desperately needed to overcome this paralyzing fear.
I’ve been asked what I was afraid of and honestly, I couldn’t single anything out. I’m not afraid of pain or anything like that. I think it was simply fear of being in the chair, like I was when I was at the oral surgeon all those years ago. I was definitely nervous that after 25 years, I was going to have major problems. That was definitely a worry.
Anyway, my first appointment went really, really well. I was really scared but it went well.
The dentist and hygienist couldn’t believe it’d been that long between appointments.
I have two tiny cavities and honestly, the last time I was at the dentist, I remember them saying there were two small cavities they wanted to keep an eye on.
That was it.
There were issues I knew about like wisdom teeth. Although I didn’t realize I had 3. I knew I had one that recently showed up and is impacted but painless. Those will have to come out but I don’t that that’s a huge deal.
I was then scheduled for a minor cleaning for the following day and as I’m writing this, that cleaning has come and gone.
There was some minor cleanup on my bottom front teeth but that was it.
They said I was in really, really good shape. In the area where I had the tooth reimplanted (bottom front teeth), there is minor gum recession on the back side and very minor bone loss.
That sorta freaks me out but that area had been through a great deal and they explained that as long as I keep doing what I’m doing and come back every 6 months, there’s nothing to worry about. Of course, I’m worried anyway because that’s what I do. Everything feels different and that’s good but it also sorta freaks me out.
Another comment. You mentioned another trauma at the same time. Maybe your brain kind of has them linked together? The human brain is pretty weird!
It can be. The person that stole part of my childhood recently reappeared in my life after a very, very long time. I’m not coping with that very well. Everyone else is already going through so much and I’m trying to be strong but it’s not working out all the time.
I’m so proud of you for sharing this, and for your courage. I’m moved and inspired. Just dropping a positive comment your way to let you know someone notices your progress
Thank you for the tips on self care. I have autism and have a son with severe autism for 9 1/2 years caregiver for him. Still going strong.
This is a great thing Rob. Seeing the dentist regularly will help. Cleaning your teeth the way you have will also help. I put off some dental work for about a decade, and by the time I got around to having work done, instead of spending $500 a year, it was more like $5000. So good for you and as long as you go on a regular basis your teeth will be better for it.
I’m glad u went. I have a terrible fear of the dentist too that dates back to my childhood. I avoid… https://t.co/Oj3OfWRTMB