This isn't pretty or positive but it's the truth and that has to count for something - Page 2 of 2 -

This isn’t pretty or positive but it’s the truth and that has to count for something

I need to be able to put my own shit aside and focus on them but I’m struggling to do that.

In this exact moment, I’m feeling defeated, demoralized, embarrassed, ashamed, scared, stressed, overwhelmed, weak, inadequate, sick, exhausted, broken and like an absolute failure. Those are hard feelings to deal with and still continue functioning. I also know that just because I feel them doesn’t mean they are warranted.

Finding some semblance of balance is proving to be even more challenging for me than it typically is. I’m no stranger to feeling these things but I can usually power through them. I’m not able to do that at this point.

Life isn’t easy right now. At the same time, life is never easy but life isn’t easy for anyone. In this very moment, life is totally kicking the shit out of me and doing it while I’m already down. I can’t even catch my breath.

I’m at a low point in my life right now but I also recognize that there will be an upswing that brings me back above water. This is the ebb and flow of my life.

I’m not sharing this because I want people to feel sorry for me. I trying to provide context and perspective for my readers. Sometimes I’ll write something that doesn’t come across as intended because my readers don’t understand where my heart or head is. There are times where I make the mistake of assuming people understand because it makes sense to me.

Context and perspective are very important. This post is intended to help you gain a little of both into my life.

If in the near future, you read something I write and think my goodness that’s depressing, you might have a better understanding of why I’m feeling that way. On the flip side, if you read something that’s pretty uplifting, you might find yourself thinking something like, my goodness, that’s really inspiring to read because I know what he’s going through right now.

Insight, perspective and knowledge are things that help us better understand and learn.

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Yes! I understand completely the gamut of emotions caregivers of autism experience. AND…I only have one SEVERELY autistic 12 yr old boy…all the check marks except seizures.
We caregivers have no outlet… we can’t be human spontaneously we have to try to bottle it up and reset when perhaps they are in school…or the spouse is willing to help…or after they are in bed for the night…hahaha like that’s a time we can schedule in! When we break we have to try to do a quick damage control so we can carry on and not have a disaster arise.

All I can say is I get your posts and since finding your website you have made me feel validated in the struggles to find our peace when even happy things like Christmas decorations constantly remind us of a life autism has stolen. Thank you for your courage to tell the truth.

Margo Taylor

🙁 i would sit listen to you

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