This isn’t pretty or positive but it’s the truth and that has to count for something

The boys and I decorated the Christmas tree this morning. I think it looks really nice. Emmett was super excited to get this done but everyone else didn’t seem to care one way or the other.

Christmas never looks like it threw up all over our house. We’ve always keep things simple and I sometimes wish it were different or that we had the means to make it different.

I feel like it’s important to embrace the holiday and give the kids an experience that builds lasting memories. Sometimes I think it would be nice if Christmas puked all over our house. I would really like to give this to the kids but it’s not in the cards this year. Perhaps next year will be different.

Anyway, the tree is done and it looks nice. I’m hoping it helps to put people in a better mood because we could all use it.



This is always a stressful time of year because money is really tight, the kids get anxious and nothing ever seems to go right. I’m trying to hold everything together but there’s so many pieces and I’m failing miserably.

I’m so distracted by the things I’m struggling with on a personal level, that I’m not able to focus on everyone else the way the both need and deserve. Sometimes it’s the other way around and I’m so lost in everyone else that I don’t deal with my own shit.

I’ve not been able to cope well with life lately and I’m afraid it’s negatively impacting those I love.

Read This  When #positive thoughts just aren't enough
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  • Margo Taylor Margo Taylor says:

    🙁 i would sit listen to you

  • Elle111 says:

    Yes! I understand completely the gamut of emotions caregivers of autism experience. AND…I only have one SEVERELY autistic 12 yr old boy…all the check marks except seizures.
    We caregivers have no outlet… we can’t be human spontaneously we have to try to bottle it up and reset when perhaps they are in school…or the spouse is willing to help…or after they are in bed for the night…hahaha like that’s a time we can schedule in! When we break we have to try to do a quick damage control so we can carry on and not have a disaster arise.

    All I can say is I get your posts and since finding your website you have made me feel validated in the struggles to find our peace when even happy things like Christmas decorations constantly remind us of a life autism has stolen. Thank you for your courage to tell the truth.