Some #Autism parenting frustrations and obstacles

Last night was one of those rare moments in life where my wife and I had a childless house. While we might get a break or two a month, typically there’s still someone home with us and makes it much less of a break.

The reason for that is Gavin. Gavin causes too many problems with his brothers if all three of them are together at the same time. It triggers fighting and things get ugly. Unfortunately, there’s really no getting through to Gavin because he’s not one to learn from experience.

Essentially, the problem arises from Gavin wanting his way, all the time when he’s at either one of his Grandparents houses. He’s very good at manipulation in these situations and as I said, it’s very upsetting to his younger brothers.

Do I think Gavin is setting out to upset anyone? No I don’t. Gavin has the capacity of someone between the ages of four and six. He’s sorta running on base instinct and like a small child, if he wants something, he pushes for it. He’s not paying attention to how that may impact those around him.

It’s frustrating for everyone involved.

The situation becomes very difficult for the grandparents to manage. It’s very difficult for the boys. Frankly, it’s very frustrating for Lizze and I because that means that a real break is impossible to get. If the kids are going to their grandparents, they’re split up. For example, if the boys are going, Gavin will have to stay home. If Gavin is going, the boys will have to stay back.

I’m not gonna lie, there’s a part of me that’s angry with Gavin for doing this. At the same time, I don’t think he really understands what he’s doing wrong. How can I be mad at that?

Gavin’s tough to coesist with anymore because he will not stop talking, doesn’t learn from his mistakes and freaks out when he does something wrong or makes a mistake. It’s exhausting. It’s exhausting for us as parents, his brothers and his grandparents.

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