I’ve not talked about this, but lately, I’ve been struggling with restless leg at night. It’s mostly my left leg, and if you’ve never experienced restless leg, it’s indescribable.
For me, at least, it doesn’t hurt, but it gets to the point where I want to cut my leg off. My Mom has struggled with this forever, and it’s awful for her. Lizze has been living with this off and on for as long as I’ve known her.
I don’t think I have it nearly as bad as my Mom, Lizze or many others for that matter but it’s bad enough that I can’t sleep, I punch my leg in a desperate attempt to stop the feeling that keeps building up, and I get to the point that I honestly want my leg removed. It really is indescribable.
Frankly, I don’t know how people who have it worse survive. I don’t know how they manage. I’m in awe of their ability to persevere.
Anyway, in my case, it seems to be stress related or at the very least, exasperated by stress. It only seems to hit me every once in a while, but it seems more frequent when my life is in turmoil.
Lately, I’ve been struggling with depression and dealing with the loss of people I loved very much. I’m overwhelmed and emotionally drained. I’m not sleeping well anyway, but restless leg makes it worse.
I’ve tried everything that one is supposed to do to help with this, but nothing works. The longer I fight it at night, the angrier and more frustrated I become. That just seems to feed it.
The only thing that ever seems to help is if I get up and go sleep on the couch. It’s not a perfect solution, but if I’m struggling, the couch is my best bet for sleep. The crazy part is the couch is incredibly uncomfortable and causes problems with my already problematic back.
Last night was a particularly bad night for me. I was exhausted and went to bed before 10 PM. Unfortunately, I laid in bed for hours, unable to stay asleep. I eventually went to the couch and was able to get a few hours of relatively consistent shut-eye, but I’m dragging today as a result.
Regardless, I was out the door this morning to go walking before 9 AM.
I want to go to bed earlier because I like getting up early. I want to start my day with a walk before anyone else is even awake. I tend to find more clarity when I do that.
We’ll see what happens tonight but I really need to get a good night’s sleep.