The boys are off school today for teacher in service day. It’s been pretty quiet thus far and I’m continuing to car shop. My stress level is pretty high and I suppose that’s to be expected.
As I was writing this, my doctor called because my labs came back and they’re apparently not good. They said they aren’t terrible but my cholesterol is up and my triglycerides are as well. This has me a bit freaked out because I was doing so well. My cholesterol was 150 and everything else was optimal.
That was in January.
Since then, I lost my grandparents, my marriage ended and I’ve not been able to maintain the things I was doing to deal with things.
This is probably stress related and I just need to focus on getting back into selfcare. It’s just so much harder when I’m on my own. I’ll just have to figure out a way to return to a higher level of self-care. Stress is not helping so I need to work on that as well.
Depression is kinda kicking my ass right now and that tends to make me worry about things a lot more and blow them out of proportion. Knowing that, I’m trying to remain focused on the facts and that helps to keep me grounded. My doctor is most likely just trying to head things off and get me going back in the right direction. Realistically, nothing dramatic is going to happen inside of 6 or 8 months.
Life is hard and my plate is overflowing with shit I need to do but I’ve managed before and I’ll manage again. It’s more important than ever that I get back on track. My kids need me and I want to be there for them.
I’m the parent of an autistic child. A few years after diagnosis at age 7 my wife’s depression became so severe she stopped contributing anything to our family. In some ways it might have been easier had she left.
I share this only to say I think I know some of the pain and suffering you are experiencing. I don’t have any words of wisdom or even encouragement. Just wanted to reach out as someone who is sharing a similar path.
May you and your loved ones enjoy happiness and be free of suffering.
It’s nice to meet you. I really appreciate reaching out, it means a lot. I hope all is well with you and your family. I know it’s not easy.. It’s nice to know I’m not alone… ☺
It does sound like the stress of your life has changed your numbers. And doctors don’t tell us how stressful it is to be stressed ABOUT our numbers (Joking not joking.) But if the numbers were good in January you know you just need to get back more to what you were doing then, eating and walking-wise.