I’m struggling more than usual tonight

Been dealing with a lot today and haven’t written at all as a result. I guess a bit of catch up is in order. I’ll make it quick cause I have some other positive news to share..

The boys had the day off today. Not entirely sure why and frankly don’t really care either. I love when the kids are all home. Especially, when it’s not because they’re sick or too upset to go to school.

Everyone was in a decent place today and that is always a positive thing in my book. We don’t look for or expect perfection in this house, only progress. Moving forward, regardless of speed is what we focus on instead. ☺

The kids are gone for the night visiting their mom and their grandparents. I have exactly 23 hours to myself before they return home.

I’ve spent some time over the last 2 days taking care of the new car. So far, I’ve managed to wash, clay bar, touch up and ceramic wax it before the rain hits. I treated the windows and all I have let to do is the interior. Each of the boys helped out in some way and I totally appreciate that. I used some of the alone time I had tonight to finish the exterior of the car.

Shortly before the boys left, I was able to record next week’s podcast and I’ll be able to work on it this weekend. It feels really good to be getting back on track. I have 5 sponsors for this season already and I’m pretty stoked about that.

I’m trying to focus on the positives but it’s been an emotional day for me. Most of the time I’m doing okay but I had a dream, inside a dream, inside a nightmare recently and it’s sorta stirred things up. I woke up inside a dream to find out that all of this shit that’s been going on for the last couple of months, never actually happened. It had all been a nightmare and I had just awoken from it.

There was such a sense of relief and then I woke up. It took me a few minutes to re-acclimate and when I did, I felt the loss all over again. It sucks.

I guess I’m still struggling a bit more than I thought I was.

I’m having a hard time shaking that and it’s got me a bit discombobulated at the moment. Fortunately, I have some pretty awesome news to sorta take a bit of the sting out of things.

The boys and I are huge Supernatural nerds. We’re pumped for the new season but heartbroken it’s the last. Anyway, I’m a big fan of the cast because they’re awesome people in real life. One of my favorites is Sheriff Jodi Mills, played by the amazing Kim Rhodes.

This afternoon, I received this on Twitter.

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