Moving forward is very hard for me. I’m dealing with the loss of someone who’s been a huge part of my life for literally half of my life. It’s a process made more complicated because of how hard the kids are struggling with all of this. I’m with them all the time and seeing them in pain makes this so much harder for me. It’s hard to grieve when I’m talking care of everyone else.
Today I decided that I needed to take a big step forward. This may not seem like a huge deal but it wasn’t easy for me.
I did some rearranging today in order to make my bedroom mine once again. As a single Dad, I don’t need two large dressers in my room, so I moved one of them into the boys room and let Elliott use it. His dresser was too small and he needed the space.
I moved Emmett into a larger dresser as well and we gutted the boys room while we were at it.
I decided that I needed to make some changes because I want this room to be a sanctuary for me. I also need a place to setup a more permanent location to record my podcast. I’m going to setup a poor man’s pseudo studio in the corner of my room.
I have a table and I’ll set all my equipment up there so I can more easily focus on the pod. I’ve got interviews lined up for this season. This is something that I’m really excited about. I’m picking up more sponsors and I get requests to be on the show almost daily. I feel really good about this.
It’s not perfect by any stretch of the imagination but it’s better than what I’ve been doing and it’s a step in the right direction.
Reclaiming my life is bittersweet for many reasons but it’s a necessary precursor for moving forward. I still have work to do but I’m hoping to have some major progress made while the boys are at school.
I know it may sound weird but this wasn’t easy for me. I’m a very emotional and sentimental guy. That’s okay but it sometimes traps me in a place where I’m spinning my wheels. It’s important that I begin building a new life and I’ve got to start somewhere.
The boys are thrilled with their new dressers and I’m thrilled with their clean room.
We had a really good day and ended it by visiting Quail Hollow before dinner. We went on a 2.5 mile hike. The weather was perfect and the park was beautiful as always.