My chest is heavy with anxiety tonight

So things are getting a bit more challenging as the days drag on. Emmett is becoming increasingly frustrated with his schoolwork and I hate the idea of continuing to force this additional stress on him. The work isn’t too hard, he’s just overwhelmed by life and homework seems unnecessary.

The boys haven’t been going to bed before midnight for the last week or so. They are too anxious and stressed out to easily shutdown at the end of the day. I decided that I needed to regain some control in this area because life on lockdown is hard enough as it is. Trying to cope while sleep deprived is much more difficult.

I shut everything down about 8 PM tonight. Emmett was really worked up over his schoolwork and experiencing what seemed like a combination of a meltdown and anxiety attack. Rather than try to work him through it and continue on, I instead opted to call it a night.

I figure that it would be better to take on what’s stressing him out so much, if he actually had a good nights sleep.

So far so good.

I’m writing this about 9:30 PM and while he’s not in his own bed, he’s fitfully sleeping next to me while I get a few things done. I say fitfully because he’s already having nightmares and startling himself awake.

Elliott seems to be doing okay, at least on the surface, although I expect that’s a bit deceiving. Emmett wears all this stuff on the outside and Elliott wears it all on the inside. Two very different approaches to coping with all this craziness. I’m hoping Elliott benefits from the early night as well. I worry about Elliott because he doesn’t open up and he carries so much around with him.

1 comment

  1. I feel your pain. I usually write about my journey in sobriety but yesterday I wrote about the struggles with my 12 year old Autistic son.

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