My chest is heavy with anxiety tonight

As for Gavin, he seems to be doing okay. He’s been getting frustrated but I’m not seeing signs of any problems associated with discontinuing his Clozapine. It’s probably too soon but here’s hoping.

As for myself, I’m feeling the weight of everything. My chest is heavy with anxiety and I’m not sleeping well at night. I’m trying to remain focused on positive things but it’s becoming more and more challening. I know we’re going to get through this but that doesn’t make the now any easier.

This week is pretty busy, especially considering I can’t leave the house. I have several interviews booked for the next few days and I’m looking forward to that.

I’m speaking with the Autism Science Foundation about the newly released Autism stats and a few other things that might be able to help parents while on lockdown. I’m also speaking to a company called Brain Power. They have created an amazing system for helping Autistic kids using Google Glass. I’m pretty stoked to learn more about this.

On a completely random note. I had to replace our water cooler because I discovered ants had made a nest inside the casing. There’s no way to access where they are without cutting it open and destroying the cooler in the process. It’s lived a good life and has been with us for at least a decade. The kids are stressed out because the water cooler is gone but our new one should be here in a couple of days.

My laptop and TV are both on the fritz. My laptop is going through periods where it won’t even turn on. It’s about 4 years old and there’s not much that can be done. I’m trying to nurse it along until I can replace it. I’d prefer to replace it before I absolutely have no choice but we’ll see what happens. The big issue is that I need it for producing the podcast. Without it, I’m in a world of hurt.

As for the TV, I’m pretty frustrated about that. It’s not even 2 years old. It’s been rebuilt twice by service and now it keeps freezing. I’m hoping to get it straight up replaced because rebuilt twice is a bit excessive and it’s still not right. The timing really sucks because we’re on lockdown and the TV is a portal to the outside world. The kids are really frustrated because it randomly freezes and locks down, requiring a full reboot. I can’t have anyone into the house to fix it again and so I’m hoping a replacement can be shipped instead.

In the grand scheme of things, this shit doesn’t really matter. It’s just more that’s outside of out control and it’s more that’s disrupting out lives.

The laptop is a bigger deal because it’s a required tool for feeding my family. While it’s true I use my phone for writing, everything for the podcast is produced with Adobe Audition and for that, I need my laptop.

At the moment, I’m just grateful that we’re all okay. I’m thankful that we’re all healthy and doing as well as we currently are. It could always be worse and I try to never lose sight of that.

I hope that you are all safe and healthy.

Rob Gorski

Full time, work from home single Dad to my 3 amazing boys. Oh...and creator fo this blog. :-)
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I feel your pain. I usually write about my journey in sobriety but yesterday I wrote about the struggles with my 12 year old Autistic son.