That was a fucking disaster 

      12 Comments on That was a fucking disaster 

Nothing with Emmett went well this morning. All of the clothes we had picked out and he pre-approved would work. Shorts were too small or too big. Either the seams or the buttons irritated him. 

His shorts felt weird and so did his pants. 

All of these things led to our very first meltdown for the new school year. We were of course late as a result, but he finally was able to work through it but not in a way that met with the dress code. Frankly, I don’t care about the dress code anymore. 



While he made it to school, he came very close to not making it to school and that’s got me frazzled. 

I know he’s nervous and that he had a really bad nightmare last night. Those things will chew into his available resources and leave him without enough to cope with these sensory issues. 

Something’s got to give because I can’t do this all year. 

For his park, Elliott did awesome. He was up and dressed without a single issue. I’m really proud of him and made sure he knew it. 

To be honest, as hellish as this morning was, Emmett was able to work through it. That says a lot for him as well. I’m not angry with him either but I can’t explain the level of stress involved in mornings like this. As much as homeschooling is off the table, if these mornings become the norm, no one’s going to survive this either. 

Now I have to find the energy to get Gavin to his eye appointment at Akron Children’s Hospital. 



  • Jimmy Rock says:

    How about this aspect — I think you mentioned in another post that part of the problem is that Emmett is a rule follower and won’t be happy about wearing something that isn’t in accordance with the dress code (even though no one seems to follow it anyway). Since it seems like the code isn’t rigidly adhered to anyway, how about getting a letter from the principal, to Emmett, explaining that certain exceptions can be made – a “new rule”, if you will. Just a thought.
    Either way, it’s a pretty high expectation to put on the kid that after a summer of no dress code or regulations, that on the first day of school, with all the extra anxiety that that brings, that he should be able to get dressed without a hitch. Probably working on it over the summer in a lower stress environment could have been a good idea, but I suppose there’s only so much you can do.
    And since it seems that homeschooling is out right now – something about imploding 😉 – I think part of the solution, at least from your end, is completely separate from figuring out how Emmett can deal with it. (I’ve commented on that plenty and I think I’m pretty much done there 🙂 ) But how are YOU going to deal with it better?
    I know it’s stressful – I do have some personal experience with this (the harder part for me was trying to keep my cool). The reality is that this situation probably isn’t simply going to disappear any time soon, so I think outside of any other things you might do or try with Emmett, you have to figure out what you can do for yourself to make it less stressful or to relieve the stress.
    All easier said than done, I know. Just trying to look at the entire situation from a different angle.

  • Dutch says:

    If the first day was that tough on you, you might need to consider homeschooling.

    You can say it’s off the table, but ifthe act of getting the child ready for shool each day wipes you out, you are not set up for any success anywhere else in our life.

    • Dutch says:

      Follow up question in regards to sensory issues as it relates to shoes, etc. If getting ready is so difficult, how are you going to manage 2 weeks of needing to be ready and moving, while having to walk around parks for miles and miles? And it’s quite literally miles at each one.

      • Rob Gorski says:

        He won’t be in a situation where he needs to be as close to being in uniform as possible. There’s no pressure if he can’t wear something right away. We can work on things without having to be any deadline or time constraints.

        • kimmy gebhardt says:

          I get what you’re saying, but how are you going to explain to Gavin and Elliott that they can’t leave for the happiest place on earth because Emmett can’t put on his shirt? I don’t mean for that to sound as awful as it does, but this is Gavin’s trip and expecting him to sit in a hotel room all morning instead of going to the parks is really asking a lot of a kid who seems to be pretty selfless where his brothers are concerned. And on the subject of the parks, are the boys prepared to stand in line and get on the ride when their time comes without hemming and hawing over it? I have learned from experience that sometimes kids think they are okay with a ride until it’s time to actually get on- that is any kid, not just special needs. I just don’t want you going into this thinking there are no deadlines or time constraints (in general, not just regarding clothes), because that’s really an oversimplification of things. At the core of it, this is Gavin’s trip and he deserves to have the best time possible. He asks for so little and this is his once in a lifetime opportunity and it needs to be as special as possible for him.

    • Rob Gorski says:

      Dutch,

      This is exactly why it was something we were seriously looking at. Starting out every morning like this for the next 9 months, is not a good thing for anyone.

      I think we will let this ride a bit and see if it’s just additional anxiety brought on by the change in routine.

      Homeschooling is always something we can explore if need be.

  • Jimmy Rock says:

    How about this aspect — I think you mentioned in another post that part of the problem is that Emmett is a rule follower and won’t be happy about wearing something that isn’t in accordance with the dress code (even though no one seems to follow it anyway). Since it seems like the code isn’t rigidly adhered to anyway, how about getting a letter from the principal, to Emmett, explaining that certain exceptions can be made – a “new rule”, if you will. Just a thought.
    Either way, it’s a pretty high expectation to put on the kid that after a summer of no dress code or regulations, that on the first day of school, with all the extra anxiety that that brings, that he should be able to get dressed without a hitch. Probably working on it over the summer in a lower stress environment could have been a good idea, but I suppose there’s only so much you can do.
    And since it seems that homeschooling is out right now – something about imploding 😉 – I think part of the solution, at least from your end, is completely separate from figuring out how Emmett can deal with it. (I’ve commented on that plenty and I think I’m pretty much done there 🙂 ) But how are YOU going to deal with it better?
    I know it’s stressful – I do have some personal experience with this (the harder part for me was trying to keep my cool). The reality is that this situation probably isn’t simply going to disappear any time soon, so I think outside of any other things you might do or try with Emmett, you have to figure out what you can do for yourself to make it less stressful or to relieve the stress.
    All easier said than done, I know. Just trying to look at the entire situation from a different angle.

  • Dutch says:

    If the first day was that tough on you, you might need to consider homeschooling.

    You can say it’s off the table, but ifthe act of getting the child ready for shool each day wipes you out, you are not set up for any success anywhere else in our life.

    • Dutch says:

      Follow up question in regards to sensory issues as it relates to shoes, etc. If getting ready is so difficult, how are you going to manage 2 weeks of needing to be ready and moving, while having to walk around parks for miles and miles? And it’s quite literally miles at each one.

      • Rob Gorski says:

        He won’t be in a situation where he needs to be as close to being in uniform as possible. There’s no pressure if he can’t wear something right away. We can work on things without having to be any deadline or time constraints.

        • kimmy gebhardt says:

          I get what you’re saying, but how are you going to explain to Gavin and Elliott that they can’t leave for the happiest place on earth because Emmett can’t put on his shirt? I don’t mean for that to sound as awful as it does, but this is Gavin’s trip and expecting him to sit in a hotel room all morning instead of going to the parks is really asking a lot of a kid who seems to be pretty selfless where his brothers are concerned. And on the subject of the parks, are the boys prepared to stand in line and get on the ride when their time comes without hemming and hawing over it? I have learned from experience that sometimes kids think they are okay with a ride until it’s time to actually get on- that is any kid, not just special needs. I just don’t want you going into this thinking there are no deadlines or time constraints (in general, not just regarding clothes), because that’s really an oversimplification of things. At the core of it, this is Gavin’s trip and he deserves to have the best time possible. He asks for so little and this is his once in a lifetime opportunity and it needs to be as special as possible for him.

    • Rob Gorski says:

      Dutch,

      This is exactly why it was something we were seriously looking at. Starting out every morning like this for the next 9 months, is not a good thing for anyone.

      I think we will let this ride a bit and see if it’s just additional anxiety brought on by the change in routine.

      Homeschooling is always something we can explore if need be.