I’m so heartbroken tonight

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Lizze and the boys are in bed. I’m with my parents and siblings, sitting with my grandfather. This is fucking awful and it’s so hard to bare witness to someone leaving this life.

We sat the boys down and explained what was happening. They were able to visit with him but Emmett is taking it really hard. Elliott is internalizing everything at the moment but he will likely breakdown as soon as he let’s his guard down. Gavin is completely obvious and unaffected.

I took everyone home a couple hours ago and I’m not sure what I’m going to do. I’ll probably eventually go home but it doesn’t feel right to do that.



When my grandmother passed away fifteen years ago, Lizze and I left the hospital and didn’t make it thirty minutes down the road before we got the call. I don’t want to repeat that.

I’m working on an update from Lizze’s appointment today at the Cleveland Clinic. We have a couple options, one needs approval by insurance and if approved, we’ll still need to figure out the financial and logistical aspect but it’s something. The other isn’t covered by insurance and it’s a pipe dream at the moment.

I’ll get that up as soon as I can….

I’m moving a bit slower right now but writing is a distraction that I need.

If you could please keep my grandpa in your thoughts and prayers, I’d really appreciate it.. 😔 💔

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  • Maria Hall Maria Hall says:

    So sorry Rob. Goodbyes are difficult. I pray you will find peace through the process. I’m glad your grandfather isn’t leaving alone, I’m sure it comforts him to have loving family with him.

  • BeckyW says:

    Don’t feel guilty, Rob. Our loved ones either die unexpectedly or they die in a slow, lingering fashion. But usually at their time of death they aren’t thinking or able to think or who is nearby. A quick death, maybe there is time to relieve some of life’s scenes. A slow deterioration until death usually means the loved one is drugged and isn’t sensing much. If you’ve been there and he can sense anything, he will still know you were near. Death scenes on TV where a person is clearheaded and saying goodbye are a kind of fantasy, in that they aren’t really common. As long as your grandpa is surrounded by loved ones he will hopefully feel all the family’s love together.

    I’ve lost my parents and also my oldest nephew. The hardest deaths are when young people go unexpectedly. But very sad when it is someone so important to you no matter what age.

  • Laurena Laurena says:

    I’m sorry, Rob. ❤️