Becoming a single parent is proving to be very overwhelming

Emmett is home sick again and that throws a wrench into my schedule today. I called the school and apparently, this respiratory thing going around the school, seems to last forever. It certainly feels that way.

Elliott got to school without any problems and Gavin is still healthy as he can be. I imagine the IVIG infusions are helping him to avoid what his brothers are dealing with.

I’m dragging today and I’m not entirely sure why. I haven’t been able to go walking in a little while now and it’s driving me crazy. I’m trying to do things like walk to the stairs in my house and even jogging in place. I don’t get the same emotional boost out of those things though and I’m struggling.

I’m going to reevaluate around lunchtime and see if Emmett is up to returning to school. The middle of the day seems to be the best time for him right now. Mornings and evenings are pretty rough. Not going to school is more related to his symptoms and not because he’s contagious.

The last thing I really want to do right now is cancel therapy this afternoon. I need to go and it’s frustrating when I can’t. Being a single parent is taking a lot of time to get used to and it’s overwhelming to say the least.

Hopefully, Emmett is at the tail end of this and is feeling better soon.


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    • BJW on December 11, 2019 at 2:34 am
    • Reply

    I know Lizze is pretty sick. But is there any way she could ever have one of the kids if sick? Like if you need to do things? I don’t know her exact living arrangements but is that something to be explored? Because it seems like you have zero backup. I know you don’t want to burden your parents but maybe they would help a little more if they knew how bad it was? I’m 60, and while I’m not in tip top shape if my sons needed help for an afternoon and had a kid, I’d babysit for that time. I wouldn’t be good for daily, 8 hours of babysitting, but I would surely pitch in if I could.

    I kind of worry about you Rob, and if other people could help you just a little bit, a little more often, it could make a difference for you.

    1. I’ve not been ignoring you. I’ve been trying to figure out how to delicately answer this. The only real, meaningful backup I have is my parents and I hate to over use their kindness. My parents, especially my mom, helps out a great deal.

      This is a very complicated situation and it’s difficult to provide an explanation without going into things that I can’t. The circumstances are such that I have no physical backup from their mom. Even before she left she’d stopped driving and was not really functioning. My in laws are amazing people and have been huge supporters over the years. They have a great deal on their plate and have minimize the about of stress in their home for serious medical reasons. It really is a very difficult situation to navigate and frankly, it’s not fair to my in-laws, the boys or myself but it is what it is and I’m trying to make the best out of it.

      I’m trying to let go of any anger I have left but it’s not easy when I see my kids in pain every single day. I’m angry for them but not myself, of that makes sense.

      I hurt but I’m a grown up and can find a way through.

      I really appreciate the concern Becky. Depression is rough right now but I’m still laughing and I have things I’m looking of forward to.

        • BJW on December 11, 2019 at 11:57 pm
        • Reply

        Oh, I didn’t feel ignored. I’m sorry there isn’t a way to get you more help!

    • Megan on December 10, 2019 at 9:33 pm
    • Reply

    I’ve asked this before and have never gotten a response. Why dont you have respite providers? I understand your kids are on the spectrum and have complex medical needs, but that doesnt mean you can’t have respite, especially as they are getting older. I know you know the importance of self-care, but having someone who could come hang out with Gavin (and whomever else is home) even a couple times a week so you can walk would do wonders for your well being AND you deserve the break!

    1. Sorry if I missed a previous question about respite care. There’s not a great many options that I’m aware of. The kids do get out, as does Gavin during the week. The issue right now is mainly that I’m struggling to put our lives back together. Depression is owning me at the moment and that’s makes everything harder. 2020 is a new beginning and involving some form of day services for Gavin is a priority. ☺

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