It’s been a busy morning already. Lizze didn’t sleep very well. She’s in a lot of pain and extremely nervous about her second Infusion today. It’s very hard to be hopeful when you’ve been in so much pain for so long and nothing has ever been able to help.
I’m trying to get her to go into this as positive and hopeful as possible because state of mind makes a difference. It’s a big ask and I understand where she is right now but I just want this to work for her.
I view the fact that yesterday’s infusion brought her migraine from a 10 to an 8 as a very positive thing. Unfortunately, the last medication that they pushed undid all that progress and made things worse. I understand why she’s not hopeful at this point.
In my view, I feel like we know the last medication was bad but the ones before it were working. To me, that sends hope that she doesn’t have to be locked into this life of unbearable pain. Hopefully, she can make some progress today and leave feeling better than she did when she arrived.
That would be amazing.
People can be very critical of those with pain disorders because they can’t see what’s going on. Chronic pain is invisible but it’s very, very real. I’ve read some horrible comments about my wife’s inability to help out much and they piss me off. Thankfully, most people have a shred of decency, some common sense and a bit of compassion because there have been way more people offering kind words, thoughts and prayers than anything else.
This isn’t easy for any of us but the rest of us don’t experience constant, unending and unbearable pain.
We’re working very hard to help Lizze gain her life back and the Cleveland Clinic is playing a huge role in that. Chronic pain is something that unless you live it, you can’t understand it.
I speak from experience because I lived in chronic pain for almost a decade after I suffered a major back injury while on a run as a medic. It was so bad that I contemplated ending my life because I thought that was the only way the pain would ever stop. Lizze was there for me, even as we were just starting to date. I got hurt a few months after we started dating.
I’ve been doing better over the last 5 or 6 years but it took the better part of a decade to simply exist without wanting to drive my car into a tree.
What Lizze is going through is far worse but my experience has given me some insight that helps me to appreciate what she’s going through.
Hopefully, this will be a good day for her and hope can be rekindled. ☺