I’m not handling things well

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I’m so out of sorts right now. I’m scared to death about what’s going to happen to Gavin. It’s probably safe to say that I’m not handling it well at the moment. 

I’ve got so much nervous energy, I can’t stop my leg from bouncing up and down on the floor. I ended up jumping down Lizze’s throat, over something that was stupid. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m so on edge, that I’m simply have no patience. 

I feel sick to my stomach and I keep closing my eyes, hoping that when I open them, this would all have been a dream.